The Doctor's Biggest Fans
by Soreye
Summary: The Cult of Skaro takes time out of their busy day to watch their favorite TV show. A pointless one-shot in MST3K style.


Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, the Daleks, or anything else that I might mention in the fanfic. I'm not making money, just having fun. He-he.

(Just some pointless stuff I made up at dinner, hopefully it will make you laugh!)

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The Cult of Skaro was stationed motionlessly in front of a giant TV screen. They were silent, waiting for the next sound they would hear...a farmiliar one they hadn't heard for a week. 

And then - a figure burst onto the screen as the daleks watched intently, drawing in every word until the next sound found its way out of the speakers.

'OOEEOOOOEEOOOOEEEEHAOEEEEHAO'

"THE DOC-TOR!" yelled Dalek Thay.

"SHUT UP, THAY!" screamed Dalek Caan.

"BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET! NOW!" squeaked Dalek Jast in his high voice.

All four daleks' eye stalked were trained upon the screen, drawing in every detail, the blue of the Doctor's suit, the sparkling of Martha's eyes as she looked over New York for the first time. Minutes passed. They daleks still watched, not moving, not even talking. The mechanical shift of their metal joints was not even heard.

The empire state building loomed out of the screen. Dalek Sec shifted as the elevator doors opened, revealing Dalek Caan. Dalek Caan himself began to vibrate almost excitedly. If he had a human face it would have been smiling.

"I AM THE STAR!!! I AM THE GREAT-EST DA-LEK THEIR HAD EVER BEEN!! YOU WILL ALL BOW DOWN BE-FORE ME, THE SUPREME RULER OF ALL DA-LEKS!!" screamed Caan.

"IT IS JUST A TV SHOW, CAAN. DO NOT LOOSE YOUR EYE STALK. I AM CLEAR-LY THE SUPREME DA-LEK! YOU ARE THE IN-FER-IOR ONE!!" squealed Jast.

"GIVE IT A REST, YOU TWO. IT IS CLEAR THAT YOU TWO ARE NOT THE SUPREME RULERS OF THE DA-LEKS! NIETHER OF YOU ARE SU-PER-IOR!" roared Thay in his low voice.

Sec turned towards the three daleks to the right of him."THANK YOU, THAY." he yelled, "NOW WILL YOU PLEASE BE QUIET SO WE CAN WATCH DOC-" but Dalek Thay continued, ignorant of his protesting companions.

"I AM THE SUPREME RULER OF THE DA-LEKS! YOU SHALL ALL BOW DOWN TO ME. I AM THE EMP-ER-OR, THE KING, AND THE COM-MAN-DER OF ALL DA-LEKS! BE GONE FROM MY PRE-SEN-CE! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! BE GONE! OBEY! OBEY! OOBBEEYY!!!"

Caan, Jast, and Sec stared at him. They didn't move.

"ALL WHO DO NOT OBEY WILL BE EXTERMINATED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" they ignored him and turned to the screen. Dalek Sec left in disgust. The other daleks ignored Thay, and he became silent.

At the commercial break, the daleks began to talk.

"I DO NOT LIKE THEIR POR-TRAY-OL OF ME! I AM NOT LIKE THAT! MY VOICE IS NOT THAT HIGH! THE WRITER OF THIS MUST BE EXTERMINATED!!!" screamed Jast.

"NO! IF WE EXTERMINATED THE WRITER WHO WOULD WRITE ABOUT US IN DOC-TOR WHO? WE WOULD NOT BE THE STARS! YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME, THE SUPREME RULER OF THE DA-LEKS! LISTEN! OBEY! LISTEN! OBEY!" Thay yelled.

"SHUT UP! THAY, YOU ARE NOT SUPREME RULER OF THE DA-LEKS, AND JAST, YOUR VOICE IS THAT HIGH!" Caan said.

"IS NOT!" replied Jast.

"IS TOO!" roared Thay.

"IS NOT!!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS T-!"

"THE SHOW IS BACK ON!"

The daleks quieted. They watched intently for the rest of the show, waiting, watching, trying to figure out what was going to happen to Sec, working it through their alien minds.

None of them had the right idea, so they stood still, peering out from their small, metal cages through their eye stalks, the joints whirring as they positioned their view carefully.

As the show ended the daleks were in uproar. They did not understand why a dalek would try to become part human. It was insanity in their own insane and twisted minds.

"THIS EPISODE IS A SCANDAL!"

"AN OUTRAGE!"

"IT TO-TA-LLY AND COM-PLE-TLY SUCKED!"

"I LOVED IT!"

"ME TOO!"

"ME THREE!"

"DOC-TOR WHO RULES!"

"IT IS THE BEST SHOW IN EX-IS-TENCE!"

"I WANT TO MARRY IT!"

"MARTHA IS MY FAVORITE COMPANION!" said Caan.

"ROSE IS BETTER!!"Screamed Jast

"MARTHA!"

"ROSE!" roared Thay, joining in.

"MARTHA!"

"ROSE!"

"IF ROSE WAS BETTER THEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE CUT HER OUT OF THE SERIES!" Caan retorted.

"HE HAS A POINT, THAY," said Jast.

"NO HE DOES NOT! IT WAS THE DOC-TOR'S FAULT!" Thay said.

"IT IS ALWAYS HIS FAULT! YOU ALWAYS BLAME IT ON HIM! GIVE HIM A BREAK!" Jast squeaked.

"WHO ELSE DO WE HAVE TO BLAME?!?!" screamed Thay.

"TOUCHE!" said Jast.

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HA! That should explain why the daleks hate the Doctor...or not. Hope you liked/loved/enjoyed it! Please Read and Review so I can make better ones. Thanks! 


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